Will the TARP protect me from the weather outside?

So let me get this right…

I’m out of work, I could start a business, plan on creating a job or two, and the economy is in the crapper. If my calculations are right, I could apply for a Government Stimulus under the TARP.

Can anyone direct me to the webpage where I ask Congress for a loan?

So what business would I create? I could write a book about Cincinnati during the Great Depression. That will employ an editor, a designer, a type setter, a binder, a publisher, and a bookstore staff member to place that book on a shelf. That stimulus package could be worth about $465,000.

Or what if I create a photo studio and sell photos of people’s pets and small children? I could franchise this studio to all the Targets in the region and make a killing! This stimulus amount should be worth $1.79 million since I’m creating that many more jobs.

Maybe I could open a store where I stock and sell local children’s books. I’ve employed local writers, local folks to sell these books, and all the fixins to make this work. Simulus: $157,000.

That might just be a bit overdramatic. But who am I to know better…